I hate speaking in front of groups of people. I always have, and I probably always will.
Ever since I was in elementary school and had to get up and speak in front of my class it has been relatively the same experience. I am brave enough to get up there, but then once I see all eyes are focused on me I feel a rush of blood to my head, then my skin pales and begins to fill with red blotches from my face to my chest. Sometimes, I’ll be so nerved up that I begin to break out in itchy hives over the blotches, which I’m sure is a lovely thing to witness.
Then the mind blanks out. Sure, I’ve prepared well thinking this time will be different and I’ll sound like a professional who knows what she’s talking about, but then the stammering starts.
I once lost a spelling bee during the first round in the 3rd grade on a stupid three-letter word because my brain completely flaked in front of the crowd. True story.
The problem is that I don’t know how to control it to this day. It honestly seems to be an involuntary reaction, and it actually doesn’t happen every time. I assume it’s some form of social anxiety, but it has never affected me enough in everyday life to pursue a solution.
It has always made job interviews pure hell though.
But, I don’t let all this stop me.
Tomorrow, I’ll be front and center during the lunch hour at Gangplank as part of a Brownbag presentation on the experiences of becoming a (relatively) new freelancer, along with designers Andrew Coppola, Niki Blaker, and fellow writer Katarina Kovacevic.
Many of my peers regularly speak in front of groups to share their knowledge of their professional field or life experiences, but I’ve been hesitant to because of the anxiety. I’m hoping that the panel situation and the fact that I’ve become familiar with many in the Gangplank community over the past several months will help diffuse my body’s freak out response to being the center of attention. Plus, I know my subject well!
But don’t be surprised if those red blotches begin creeping up despite all that. And make fun of me if you feel like it. I’ve become used to it over the past 30 years. Still, the show will go on, and hopefully I’ll at least provide a few nuggets of wisdom for those thinking of breaking out on their own professionally. I’ll be the one with the red hair and a complexion to match 
Wendy says “… fact that I’ve become familiar with many in the Gangplank community over the past several months will help diffuse my body’s freak out response to being the center of attention. Plus, I know my subject well!”
You put the nail to the coffin Wendy, on that one
The fact that you know your subject and your passionate about it will create a sense of strong self-confidence that will allow you the ability to withstand any negative thoughts that may be creeping upon you.
Not to mention you feel more content in your surroundings aka (Gangplank)
You will do suburb.
Is it open to all? I could use this knowledge
Your actual weaknesses can actually be flipped to be used positively.
ex. Being shy: can create the ability to be a good listener.
Aw… thanks so much for the encouragement! You’re right, it’s not completely a bad thing. In fact, the speaking issues are a big part of why I’ve developed good writing skills. For a long time it has been the communication method that I’ve preferred.
Yes, the brownbag sessions are open to all, so c’mon down if you have the time tomorrow
Hey I am sorry I missed it
I was asleep until 1:15 today.
How did it go? Good turnout?
People respond in a positive manner? (informative 4 them?)
LOL… No worries, I would’ve slept in too if I could have!
It actually went better than I thought it would! Katie Charland moderated and had questions prepped, so I really didn’t have to use the two pages of notes I’d over-prepared. Plus, Andrew, Niki, and Katarina were great, which helped me a lot. I only got nervous and lost my train of thought once or twice, and no hives
We had a great turnout with a lot of good questions. I had a couple of people I didn’t know well or at all who came up to me at the end and thanked me for providing them with some good advice, which made all the anxiety worth it!
Thanks for asking. Hope things are going well for you, and hope to see you next week at StorytellersAZ
I think I’ve exceeded the emoticon limit on this post by this point. I may need an emoticon intervention.
Well I am very happy to hear things went really good.
I know I could have gained alot from that presentation.
As far as the Storytellers. Of course I’ll be there. Also I am going to try to make that event on the 28th. that you posted on Facebook.
Something about volunteering. (Not to sure yet)
I would love to volunteer my time to gangplank, and support the cause.
Now your not left out
as far as the emoticons go. 
we make emoticons apart of proper etiquette…cause were cool like that.
Good for you for pushing past and doing it! I feel nervous like that too. I don’t get red, though, I get freezing and shaky. It’s like blood flow stops to my extremities. My teeth actually chatter.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger! You go!
Thanks Elizabeth! It’s crazy how our fears have so much self-destructive power over us sometimes, and I’m now realizing just how many people, even the most successful and seemingly outgoing speakers, feel the same way.
I hate speaking in front of groups, too, it’s hard to overcome, but I bet you did just fine.
So how is the freelancing thing going for you?
Can’t remember all the good tips, but watch the movie Maid in Manhattan. Not a huge j-lo fan, but there is a bit about public speaking that’s great.
I think you’ll find that when you know what you’re speaking about and learn that others are listening, not judging, then you’ll be great! The audience is grateful for you, talk like you would to a friend (imagine me sitting in the very back and talk just to me).
So glad it went well!