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Forever Benny Hill’s Girlfriend <3

When I was a kid, I rode the bus to my grandmother’s house after school. On the bus, as wellbenny-hill-copy as pretty much everywhere else, there were groups of kids who got their kicks and upset me by picking on my weight. This occurred during my early school years, in first or second grade.

The “ringleader” of the particularly nasty group on the bus was a skinny kid named Jason who lived on the street behind my grandmother’s house and was a few years older, probably in the fourth or fifth grade. He would always instigate the fat insults and his group of buddies, both male and female as I recall, would chime in and continue and build upon his daily verbal attack.

Before Kindergarten, I didn’t have a lot of exposure to groups of my peers. I had a couple of close friends, but other than that I was a bit of a loner hanging out at my grandmother’s house. I liked it that way. I had little tolerance for other children and preferred the solitude that my grandmother’s house provided. Maybe I wasn’t tolerant because I was sick quite often.

From the time I was an infant until the age of eight I suffered from frequent, nasty ear infections that made me entirely miserable. In my Kindergarten picture I look awful; pale and thin with darkly-circled, sad-looking eyes. Pretty much the only thing my parents and grandmother could get me to eat were macaroni & cheese and cheese sandwiches.

Kindergarten was the year that my doctors tried to help me by removing my adenoids and inserting tube in my ears. It didn’t help much, and I missed so much school that year that I would have flunked Kindergarten had my mother not loudly protested to the school (Thank goodness. I was freakin’ bored. My grandmother had already taught me all the basics the New York Board of Education apparently thought five-year olds needed to learn.

The doctors decided to do allergy tests, and found out I had numerous sensitivities to common things: dust (no more stuffed animals for me, but I got a waterbed for this one!), mold, feathers (pillow’s? And we’d had parakeets), and nicotine (most of the adults in the family were regular smokers), among several other things. They decided that I should try a nasal spray to try to combat my allergies. A steroid nasal spray.

I began to want to eat everything in sight constantly. My parents and grandmother happily fed me. What would you do if you had a kid that formerly refused food most of the time? They were so happy I was eating and beginning to look like a healthy kid… I blame the steroid drug, and not them, for the reason I turned into a fat kid in the first grade.

Me - Age 6

This is me in 1981. I’m “chubby” with a round face, crooked teeth, and a weird haircut, and I was overly sensitive. I was a pretty damn easy target for anyone who was looking for one.

The group on the bus got their kicks at my expense for a while. I probably got off the bus crying or something, but I don’t really remember. One thing I do remember, quite clearly, however, is their favorite taunt for a time: calling me “Benny Hill’s girlfriend”.

It seems stupid, and makes me laugh now looking back, but at the time it was devastating. The Benny Hill Show was airing early in the evening during those years, and my dad and grandfather both enjoyed watching it. Benny Hill was a fat, goofy, English comedian who enjoyed chasing women around. The kids on the bus thought that Benny Hill was “retarded” and were making fun of it among themselves for a while. Eventually, they concluded that the best way to keep the insult ball rolling and one-up themselves was to draw me into it somehow. It upset me so successfully that calling me “Benny Hill’s girlfriend” was an ongoing insult as I got off the bus everyday.

It hurt for a while. I don’t remember how long, but I do remember learning what real pain and loss were over the next year as my grandfather became ill and we lost him to a brain tumor. It’s likely that the personal pain and humiliation that resulted from their insults no longer affected me after that, if they even lasted that long.

Though the doctors removed my tonsils when I was eight, the earaches lessened tremendously, and I was able to stop the steroid medication, I was still an awkward looking kid for several years to come. I ended up with glasses in the third grade and braces in eighth grade, and I was still chubby. It didn’t bother me that much though, so other kids left me alone. I formed some strong friendships during my elementary school years, many which have stood the test of time.

In high school I got contact lenses, had my braces removed, learned how to style my hair decently, and how to enhance my features with makeup. I’ve never found myself longing for male attention, and once my body took on a proper womanly hourglass shape, I’ve never been displeased with it.

I’m not small, as indicated in my previous post about beginning Fatoff, and I still get the occasional dig at my weight from sad people who find the most obvious thing to use to conduct their personal attacks. Fat girls must be sensitive about their weight, so hit ‘em where it hurts, right? Actually, no, it doesn’t hurt me anymore, but it does make me sad that there are people who make a conscious decision to treat others this way. I don’t understand that mentality. I’m not a vengeful person and I would never do anything to purposely hurt someone else.

An incident today with a mature, adult trying to upset me by calling me fat got me thinking about the kids on the bus and the “Benny Hill’s girlfriend” comment. I started looking up information and old clips of the Benny Hill Show, and it rather amused me. I came to the realization that I actually married a large, obnoxious comedic personality, who likes pretty girls… similar to Benny Hill. Maybe being Benny Hill’s girlfriend wasn’t such a bad thing after all. I will gladly, forever be Benny Hill’s girlfriend <3

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What Laid Off Camp Phoenix ’09 Did for Me

Some Background

As many of you are aware, last Summer my husband, Chris, and I completely uprooted our lives and moved nearly 2000 miles across the country from Columbus, OH to Phoenix, AZ. Chris had lived in Columbus all of his life and I had settled there for 10 years of my life, building a career & meeting and marrying Chris in the process.

 

Chris & I had discussed moving elsewhere several times, but stayed in Columbus because he had a good, stable job and his grandmother lived next door to us (later with us) and was in ill health. When she passed away in March last year, that was the boost we needed to uproot ourselves and make the change we had discussed for so long.

 

Why Phoenix?

Chris’ mom has lived in Phoenix for over 10 years now, and my parents moved here 3 years ago after my mom got a job transfer when her office shut down in Upstate NY. We wanted to be near family, so it was between Phoenix and Upstate NY, but after considering the economy and Chris’ career Phoenix was the clear choice. The sheer volume of jobs in the tech industry even compared to Columbus was staggering.

 

So Chris quit his job of 9 years, and left Columbus for Phoenix in May. I followed in June, and Chris had a lucrative contract starting the week after I got here. I loved the Phoenix weather and landscape, but by August I still had not landed a job or begun to have any shred of social life here. Chris had begun heavily using Twitter and heard about Laid Off Camp happening at the Gilbert Community Center. He was interested in attending for the sessions about starting your own business, as we have aspirations of doing that at some point, but thought the event would be largely beneficial to me since I was still on the hunt for a job. I reluctantly agreed to attend.

 

Reluctantly?

Yes. You see, I’ve spent a long time in my anti-social little bubble, reluctant to put myself out there because of what others might think and because someone might not like what they see. Chris is exactly the opposite, frequently attending events, talking to strangers, and not really caring what others think. It was a combination of Chris’ encouragment and the social foundation I have built beginning at Laid Off Camp that has made me a more social, outgoing person and that attitude change has improved my personal and professional relationships.

 

Wow! This Laid Off Camp thing sounds amazing! What’s it like?

It is amazing, and I’m glad you asked. First of all, don’t get me wrong here, this event is not magic and you are only going to get out of it what you put into it! First of all, lets go over what Laid Off Camp is and isn’t:

 

  • It IS a great place for networking and meeting some pretty incredible people in the Phoenix community who are very interested in helping others be as successful in business as they have been.
  • It IS an event to learn better ways to market yourself to potential employers and clients.
  • It ISN’T magically going to get you a job or make you a successful person, but if you listen and keep an open mind it can give you the tools you need to get there yourself!
  • It IS remarkably inspirational.

 

The Best Part

The best part of Laid Off Camp for me was meeting some incredibly inspirational people and learning just how supportive the business community here is Phoenix really is. I have lived in four other cities, some rather large metro areas, and have never encounted the caliber of people I have met in Phoenix, starting with the Laid Off Camp event last year.

 

There are too many great people involved in this event to list in this post, but one of the people who has given me the greatest inspiration is Susan Baier, a local owner of her own marketing business and organizer of this year’s Laid Off Camp Phoenix. I attended Susan’s session on starting her business after working for corporations for a number of years, and she spoke about her experiences interviewing with and working for others, as well as the steps she took to break out on her own. The story Susan told that really stuck with me was about being chastised by a potential employer for wearing a red dress to her interview because it wasn’t conservative enough. Susan’s response was that the red dress was part of who she was and if that was not what the company was looking for in a person then that was not the company for her. Basically, if a potential employer isn’t going to hire you for who you are, then you will likely not be happy there as an employee anyway.

 

Susan’s advice and experiences resonated with me and changed my attitude toward interviewing and how I present myself at my job (yes, I landed a job just a couple weeks after Laid Off Camp!) and overall socially. That change in attitude has not only helped me further myself in my current job, but has also enriched my social life temendously. Hearing about the way that Susan had put herself out in the community, not really knowing a lot of people, and built herself a successful business and a supportive social circle in the matter of one little year was all it took for me to decide to overcome my fears and put myself “out there” more. If you don’t take chances then you will never know what you could have done or who you might have met. Sure, there is a chance of failure and some people just might not like you. The important thing is to learn from your failures and to know that for every person out there that you don’t click with, there is going to be someone you DO click with. I can almost guarantee that the benefits you will reap from meeting new friends and business contacts will far outweigh any of the negative experiences you are fearing could happen.

 

This sounds GREAT! When is the next Laid Off Camp??

I’m glad you asked! The next Laid Off Camp Phoenix is THIS SATURDAY April 3rd at the Chandler Senior Center starting at 8AM. You can find out more information about the event and view the sessions at http://laidoffcampphoenix.com/. It is rather informal, so you can just come to a single session if that’s all you’re interested in, and if you find yourself in a session that you thought you might enjoy and don’t, it’s perfectly acceptable to get up and leave quietly in the middle. And best of all, it’s FREE!!! And, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE LAID OFF TO ATTEND! If you are considering a career change or starting your own business, then Laid Off Camp is for you. I’ll be there, and I hope to see you there next weekend too.

 

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